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Welcome MikeJoe
by maryrose3 (maryrose3)
at June 8th, 2013 (10:05 am)

We have a new member.  Wow!  It's been so long since there's been one, let alone one who posts.  We've had some activity at this community.  Maybe we aren't dead yet.

Anyway, welcome to MIkeJoe, someone whom I've known since my days at the old Slipstream board.  It's nice to have you here.

by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:43 pm)

Another gem from Slipstream ...

I'd meant to use this idea in another, *slightly* longer fic, but never got around to it. But if you want something to make you smile, this is it.

And the best I can do in five minutes.

And you'd better put down the food and drink, people, because my silly muse came up with this one.

And I don't own DROM and it's characters.


"Uh, you need some help there, Dylan?" Beka asked, peering at her friend a fellow starship captain, who had crammed himself into an awkward position in the *Eureka Maru's* pilot's chair has he studied the monitor. Despite having been to heck and back --- literally and figuratively --- for the past five years, Beka was still a teeny tiny bit protective about her beloved freighter’s controls.

Dylan cranked his neck at an unnatural angle. “What? Oh, hi, Beka. No, I’m good.”

“Whatchya doin’? Not that I’m picky or anything, but she is my ship. If you don’t mind my asking.”

Dylan unfolded into a more natural seated position and sighed heavily. “Looking up the *Maru’s* performance stats for your service record. Believe it or not, after all this time, I never got around to logging that information into *Andromeda’s* database. I’d find a spare moment, and surprise……”

“All hell broke loose.”

“And the Restored Commonwealth’s first act now that we’ve restored it to its proper place on Tarn Vedra aka Seefra 1, is to come after me to make sure all my paperwork is correct.”

“Wait a sec --- We save the Known Universe from the Abyss (who is hopefully fried for good this time), reconnect your homeworld to the slipstream, reinstall the Commonwealth government there, and instead of saying ‘Thank you,’ or at least offering five year’s worth of back pay (not that I’ve voiced my concerns about that, not too frequently anyway), those ingrates have nothing better to do than put the Galactic Red Tape factory back in operation?”


“Sheesh. Well, good luck.” Beka turned away from Dylan, took two steps, stopped, and turned back, smiling nervously. “I have a service record?”

“Yep,” Dylan said. “You all do. *That* I took care of right away.”

“Wow. A real, honest to god, official type service record?”


“Say good things about me?”

“Well, let’s just say that some of the more staid members of the Old Commonwealth’s admiralty might have had their hair curled by some of your exploits, but yeah, I managed to say a few nice things about you. Seriously, I couldn’t have survived without you guys. I made that abundantly clear in spite of the odd ….. Eccentricity as compared to a High Guard officer of the line.”

“Wow.” Beka was still tickled. “That was sweet of you, Dylan. I know it was an official type of thing since you’re an official type of guy, but thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“In fact….” Beka crossed to a small safe built into one of the bulkheads, opened it, and produced a small ID card. “I got this for you back in the day. Remember when I said I thought of you as part of my crew? Well, I meant it. Right after I joined up with you, I got you an official FTA ID card. I was going to give it to you on your birthday, but I forgot it the first time, and all hell broke loose on the other four. But it’s here. I’ve paid your dues and everything.”

“Really?” Dylan got out of the chair. “That’s nice of you Beka. Can I see it?”

Beka seemed to have second thoughts. “Uh….. Y’know, Dylan, uh with the Commonwealth restored and all, you have your rank back….”

Dylan smiled. “Yeah, but I’d still like to see it.”



“Uh……ok.” She handed the card to Dylan; her smile was so strained one would think she was going to sprain her face.

Dylan was genuinely pleased. “Wow. This was really nice of you Beka. Thank---” His face fell. “Wait a sec -- ‘Apprentice shipper fourth class’!?”

“Hey, is that Harper calling me? Yeah, I think it is.” She turned and raced out of the *Maru’s* cockpit.

“Beka,” Dylan called, starting after her, “wait a minute, I think we should discuss this ….”

In his wake, the *Maru’s* computer, patiently displaying the information Dylan had requested, waited for him -- or anybody -- to return.


No Good Deed ... (Beka Day 2013)
by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:36 pm)

TITLE: No Good Deed ….
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa
SUBJECT: Commemorating Beka Day 2013, if anyone is reading this forum anymore.
DISCLAIMER: Who owns GENE RODDENBERRY’S ANDROMEDA these days is a mystery. But it’s not me. Don’t sue me, please.
WARNING: This is a product of my Silly Muse. And if it hasn’t missed its mark, then you will want to put aside all food and drink before you start reading.


Beka paused at the entrance to the *Andromeda’s* command deck. She wasn’t normally so hesitant; the giant, sentient High Guard starship had been her second home (after the *Maru*) and her friend for four years before…what happened at Arkology, and she didn’t mind visiting her now (although she sometimes wondered why). And despite disagreements with Dylan, it was…comforting to spend time with someone familiar (although she would never admit that to his face); and helping him with these little missions of his not only kept him from getting killed but kept her sober (no way she was going to drink as much as Rhade if she could help it). She couldn’t complain about that. So on any other day she would just walk into the command deck without giving it a second thought.

But today was different. If Dylan went by the date on Andromeda’s consoles, today was very different.

Beka took a deep breath and stepped through the door. Dylan was alone on the Command deck, working at the central console, his back to the her.

“Hey, Dylan,” Beka said.

Dylan turned around. He smiled. “Oh, hey, Beka. Just give me a minute.”

Dylan finished up and clicked off the console. The lights darkened and he came over to Beka. “All set to go. Shall we?”


They started walking down the corridor.

“So why do you want me to give you a lift?” Beka asked, hoping she didn‘t sound too suspicious. “You’re doing ok with lancer drop pods and slip fighters.”

“Maybe I like being chauffeured,” Dylan joked.

“Even if you’re being charged for it?”

Dylan frowned. “Beka, what’s wrong?”


“I mean, we haven’t seen eye-to-eye for a while but I thought things had smoothed out…a little. So what’s wrong?”

“Uh, well, Dylan, when I came aboard, I noted the date stamp on the consoles.”

“Oh, yes, the date stamp that says it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“And my birthday.”

“I see.”

“You’re not taking it seriously, are you, Dylan? I mean, we don’t even know what day or year it is here in Seefra. You can’t be sure it’s my birthday.”

“Ah, I see, Beka. You’re afraid I’ve arranged a surprise birthday party for you.”

“In a word, yes. And you know I really, really, *really* hate them.”

“Don’t worry, Beka, we had a deal: No more surprise parties aboard the *Andromeda*…”


“Do I really have to come in?” Beka said as they got the entrance of the Oasis, Harper’s bar on Seefra 1.

“Harper said the parts for the *Andromeda* would need two people to carry, and Doyle is busy,” Dylan said as the door slid open and they went inside.

The room was dark.

“What the heck?” Beka said.

“Harper’s been complaining about problems with the--” Dylan started.

The lights exploded up. Harper, Doyle, Trance, Rhade, and Sembler jumped up from behind the bar. “SURPRISE!” they shouted.

Beka jumped and cried in surprise.

“Happy Birthday, Beka,” Dylan affirmed.

Beka took in the bar: a “Happy Birthday” sign had been suspended above it and streamers hung up around the room.

Beka turned to Dylan. “I thought we had a deal?” she growled.

“Yes,” Dylan said, grinning, “no surprise parties *on the *Andromeda.** We are not on the *Andromeda.*”

Trance carried a cake to the bar. “Come on, Beka. Blow out the candles.”

Beka stared at Dyan. Then smiled. “Yeah, why not? We can have a party. I guess after what we‘ve been through, we deserve it.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Beka took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

Doyle sidled over to her. “You’re taking this well,” the android said, “considering Dylan was concerned that you would be angry.”

“Dylan is Dylan,” Beka said, smiling. “And I understand his motives. Don’t worry, Doyle, he’ll get what he deserves…”



Trance heard footsteps behind her; they stopped and Dylan called, “Trance!”

“Yes, Dylan, what--” Trance turned from the command deck console where she had been working on the Methus Diagram and broke off, staring.

Dylan stood in the entrance to the command deck with nothing but a towel around his waste, dripping wet.

“Is something wrong?” Trance asked.

“You could say that,” Dylan said. “Captain Valentine has repaid me for the birthday party I held for her --- to boost everyone’s morale because I’m an idiot like that -- with a password protected virus in Andromeda’s environmental system that prevents any shower on this ship from providing more than 30 seconds of hot water if it detects my DNA. And yes, I have been trying showers all over the ship. And no, I can’t get around the virus. Empress knows I‘ve tried.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“Correctly guess her password and give me hot water.” He turned and left command. “In the next five minutes would be nice.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Trance turned back to her console. “Yotz. What a grouch.”

“I heard that!” Dylan’s voice echoed from down the corridor.


Recalling Totally
by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:31 pm)

TITLE: Recalling Totally
AUTHOR: MikeJoe/Michael J. Gallagher
SUBJECT: Beka puts Dylan in God’s Little Acre.
SPOILERD FOR: Totaled Recall
ANSWER TO: Challenge on Andromeda Uncovered List.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANDROMEDA nor its characters; I am just having fun.


After Doyle had left his cabin, Dylan pulled the photo of him an Sara from under the cushion on his couch and took another long look at it. If his life had been turned upside down by being frozen in time in the first place, arriving in Seefra, skipping though months or years of his friends’ lives, and learning he was a Paradine (aka God) had sent it through hoops. And then the alternate reality he had glimpsed where Sara had been the spitting image of Doyle, and the feelings for Doyle that he had to wonder about. But were they feelings for Doyle? For Andromeda, for whom Doyle was an impromptu avatar? And what if Harper ever got Andromeda’s original avatar, Rommie, up and running again?

And never mind the trivial matter of Trance’s sun gobbling up the Seefra system.

“Why did I have to get up that morning?” Dylan murmured.


Dylan re-hid the photo at the voice from his cabin door. “Yeah, Beka?”

Beka Valentine came in, smiling, and sat on a nearby chair. “Hey. How ya doin’?”

“Better. Thanks.”

“Word around is you had some interesting dreams.”

“Word can not always be believed.”

“She’s never been wrong before.”

“’She’?” Dylan rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. “Sheesh. Don’t tell me you have those hammocks back up and running.”

“Actually, they vanished when we came to Seefra. No clue as to where they are.”

“I feel your pain.”

“Forget my pain. I’m wonderin’---what did you dream about? Come on! I don’t always remember mine.”

“Well, some of them were messed up. Like finding myself alone with Doyle and learning maybe a hundred years had passed.”

Beka leaned forward. “And?”

“’And’ what?”

“You know. You were along with Doyle AND?”

“Sheesh, Beka! When did you get such a filthy mind?”

“What do you mean when, Dylan? I’ve always had my mind in the gutter.”

“Oh, really?”


“Never came up before.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Oh, yeah? Name one incident. One. Come on.”

“Ok. Remember when we rescued you from the black hole, and after all that running around Gerentix stole the *Maru?*”

So much had happened in the past five years, Dylan had to think about it. “Uh …. Yeah. Ok. I’m tracking.”

“And you said you would help me get her back in exchange for a favor but you wouldn’t tell me what it was?”

“Yeah. I’d been thinking of recruiting you, and I saw the opportunity, but I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“Yeah, well….” Beka cleared her throat. “….I thought you, uhm, wanted to, uh, you know, uh…..”

“You mean….uh….”


They both laughed.

“Damn, Beka,” Dylan said as he calmed down. “I wouldn’t have done that to you.”


“Of course. I don’t see you that way.”

“Really,” Beka said, suddenly serious.

“Really,” Dylan said. “You’re a fellow starship captain and my peer. We may not have always seen eye to eye on everything, but I respect your judgment. Rest assured I had never intended for our relationship to be strictly professional.”

“So not interested in me at all.”


“And when were you going to tell me you didn’t find me attractive?”

“WHAT!? No, Beka, that’s not what I mean!”

“Then what did you mean, Dylan?” Beka’s gaze bore into his.

“I mean, uh, what I mean, uh, that is, uh …. You know, I think I have to help Harper with the Slipstream drive system’s check. Damn, I almost forgot that. Sorry, Beka, gotta run. We’ll talk later!” He left his cabin as fast as he could without running.

Beka leaned back in her chair, hugged her knees, and laughed.

“Beka?” Andromeda’s voice said. “I thought you’d like to know: my sensors have confirmed that you’re evil.”

Beka didn‘t hide her smile. “I know, Andromeda, but someone has to keep the big lug on his toes.”


Wrapped Around My Digital
by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:24 pm)

I don't know why I got the idea in my head that Beka hates the idea of Rommie having Harper and/or Dylan wrapped around her finger, but here is the first example of it, recovered from the Slipstream archive.

TITLE: Wrapped Around My Digital
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Andromeda

"I will turn your face to alabaster
When you find your servant is your master
And you'll be wrapped around my finger"
--The Police (SOURCE: Beka Valentine Music Library CY 10,182)


Beka almost tripped over Rommie when she tried to ascend the flight control podium. "Rommie!? Is everything all right?"

The beautiful blue-haired android, lounging on the station with her head against a railing, opened her eyes and looked up at Beka. "Oh, everything's fine. I'm just .... well, relaxing, with a little help from Harper."

"What's he doing?"

"A complete systems check and full diagnostic on *all* my systems and subsystems."


"Uh-huh." A schematic of the *Andromeda Ascendant* appeared on one of the big monitors. "He started here -- " A dot appeared in the ship's nose cone. " -- in the gunnery nose at 0530, and now he's here." Another dot appeared, amidships.

"He did all that in four hours!?" Beka yelped.


"He's killing himself!"

"Hardly. I'm monitoring his vitals; he's ok."

Beka glared down at the android. "And WHAT, exactly, did he do to you to deserve such punishment?"

"Hardly punishment. We made an arrangement." Rommie slowly got to her feet. "When I agreed to go on leave with him a few weeks ago, I did it on condition he do this. In fact, I just wanted to have my slipstream drive tuned up, but I thought I'd have to haggle down to that from something else. But he jumped at the chance; he's actually enjoying himself."

"Well, we'll see about that!" Beka started to leave command.

"You know," Rommie said, "sometimes I'm glad human females don't see Harper for the little sweetheart he really is, because times like this, I don't want to share him."

Beka hesitated in the doorway, then decided she would deal with the dire implications of Rommie using "Harper" and "sweetheart" in the same sentence another time.


"..... Rommie is going to work Harper into an early grave," Beka said, pacing back and forth in Dylan's office. "And he's only all too willing to go along with her. She says 'Jump!' and he's already on the ceiling!"

"I think you're exaggerating," Dylan said.

"Oh, really?"

"One thing I learned a long time ago is not to mess with what works, and Harper and Rommie work well together. They always have. This ship would have been for the trash heap a long time ago if they didn't."

"This isn't 'working well together.' This is 'Rommie has Harper wrapped around her little finger and she knows it'! Trust me. I'm a woman. I know these things."

Dylan relented. "All right, I'll talk to Rommie."

"No, I want you to talk to Harper."

"Excuse me?"

"Harper looks up to you. Hell, I think he wants to *be* you. He listens to you more than he does to me these days; you can help him get his head on straight."

"Oh, all right .... "


Dylan found Harper in a conduit, glaring at an uncooperative panel. At first glance, Beka seemed to be right. He looked tired.

He also looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Mr. Harper."

"Hey, Boss! You here to help?"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you about the repairs -- "

"Yeah, they're coming along, or will be when I get this thing fixed."

Dylan looked at the panel. "What's the problem?"

"Nothing. That's the problem. Rommie says there's something wrong here, but I've been over it five times, and I can't find anything wrong with it."

"You know, my old engineer ran into the same problem; she said it was a 'pinched nerve:' Rommie felt it here ..... "

"But the problem was really somewhere else?"

"Exactly! Andromeda .... ?"


"Well, Dylan, how did it -- " Beka stopped in her tracks only a few paces into the officers' mess, her jaw dropped. Dylan and Harper were hunched over a table, pouring over dozens of flexies, covered from head to toe in grease.

"Hey, Bek!" Harper called out cheerfully.

Dylan winced. "Oh, Hi, Beka, I found Har -- "

"ALL RIGHT!" Beka shouted. "That's IT! This repair cycle is concluded as of RIGHT NOW." She pointed at Harper. "YOU. Hit the showers and get some rest."

"Boss -- "


Harper sagged and slouched out of the mess hall.

"As for you ..... " Beka growled at Dylan.

"Now wait, wait a minute," Dylan said a little nervously. "I'm the captain of the *Andromeda.* I can't get in Dutch with my *first officer.*"

"Oh, really? Remember that regulation that says you can say whatever you want to a superior officer as long as you preface it with 'with all due respect'?"

"Uh, yes, yes, I remember it well."

"Well, Dylan, with all due respect ..... "


Several decks away in hydroponics, Tyr and Trance stopped working on the heavy bag and turned towards the large hatch, listening; the Nietzschean and the gold-skinned alien had better hearing than the average human.

And good sense, too.

"I think we should steer clear of Beka for a while," Trance said.

"Agreed." Tyr braced himself against the bag, to hold it for Trance. "All right, fifty more .... "


Intervention is Heck
by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:17 pm)

It didn't start life as a Beka fic, but she has a lot to do with it. Enjoy, Marry.

TITLE: Intervention is Heck
AUTHOR: Michael J. Gallagher/MikeJaffa/MikeJoe
SUBJECT: Answer to my new Spoiled Rommie challenge (though not the only one I hope to see!)
SETTING S5 around the time of “What Will Be Was Not”
DISCLAIMER: I own neither ANDROMEDA nor its characters and am making money off this
WARNING: My silly muse is on another rampage. Put down the food and beverage while you read this.


Harper smiled as he took a rag and wiped the control panel in the *Andromeda Ascendant’s* slipstream core. For the first time in the three years since he’d arrived in the Seefra system, he felt like his old self.

“There you are, my pretty little starship,” he said, relishing the moment. “I, Seamus Zelazny Harper, your engineer and resident genius, pronounce you in possession of a fully functional slipstream drive.”

Andromeda’s hologram appeared next to Harper, evidently pleased even if she wasn’t smiling as broadly. “It is gratifying to have a fully functional propulsion system again, although I’m constrained to point out that unless we can find a slipstream portal, my slipstream drive is useless.”

“Don’t remind me,” Harper groaned, “but hey, Dylan’s like God, right? So sooner or later, he’ll probably find you a way out of here.”

Andromeda frowned a little. “You mean ‘us,’ right?”

“Uh ……”

“Harper ….” Andromeda’s voice almost shook a tiny bit. “Look, this isn’t quite like me, to admit something like this, but the fact is that I’ve missed you. ALL of you. I’m not sure how long I was stranded in the Seefra system before I was found again, but being without my crew was….unpleasant. I don’t ….. I hope that when we find a way out of Seefra, I won’t be separated from you again.”

Harper smiled. “Hey, don’t worry about it, baby,” he said reassuringly. “Of course you’re not leaving without me. Who’s going to keep you running? And I’ve stuck with you so far since we found you again, right?”

Andromeda smiled a little. “Yes, Harper, you have.”

“Then don’t worry about it, Andromeda. There’s no way my favoritest starship is leaving Seefra without her certified genius engineer. So put that thought out of your pretty little processor.”

“All right, Harper, I will. And thank--”

“’Pretty little processor’?” Beka Valentine said incredulously as she entered the room with Dylan. “I heard you down the hall. “’Baby’? ‘Prettiest starship’? What next, ‘snookums’?”

Harper nit his eyebrows together. “What’s wrong with ‘snookums’?”

“Aaaarrrhhhh!” Beka cried, grabbing her hair and stomping around. Then she turned back to Harper. “Ok. That’s it. That’s enough. This ends NOW. Harper, I can not believe you have backslid so far. Whatever else you did in the three years you were here, at least you stood on your own two feet. That’s right. That’s what we all have to do, really. SOMEBODY got us away from that, and we have to get back to it, and fawning over Andromeda isn’t the way to do it. Whatever is waiting for us back in our Universe, if we ever get back there, we have to face it on our own two feet, and not rely on Captain Wonderful and his Super Ship!”

“Um….” Dylan “Captain Wonderful” Hunt tried to interject, “you do know I’m in the--”

“And do you honestly think you’re doing Andromeda any good?” Beka ranted on, apparently not aware that Dylan was in the room. “She’s a warship for crying out loud. That means she’s a fighter, a scraper. If we want to get her back on her metaphorical feet, coddling her and talking baby talk to her isn’t going to do it, not unless you want to produce the multiverse’s biggest spoiled brat!”

Dylan saw where this was going and got a very uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. “Uh…” he said, “are you sure -- I mean, Beka, is it really wise to---”

“Well, there’s nothing else for it,” Beka said. “Andromeda! Am I still on record as your first officer?”

“Yes,” the hologram said a little petulantly.

“Then in my capacity as your fist officer -- and Harper’s captain long before we rescued from the black hole---I am banning Harper from your decks for a week.”

“WHAT!?” Harper and Andromeda yelped. Dylan looked around, rubbing his face and wondering why there couldn’t be a Magog attack when you needed one.

“Beka---” Harper stammered, “that’s not--I mean---”

“Beka,” Andromeda said, “I must protest this----”

“No arguments from either one of ya!” Beka shouted. “This is for your own good. You’ll thank me later.” Then she remembered Dylan existed. “Unless O Captain My Captain is going to override my order.”

“Uhhhhh….” Dylan squirmed the squirm one squirms in God’s little acre, east of the rock and west of the hard place. “Well, uh, you have raised some important issues, yes, you have. But do you really think such draconian measures are necessary? Uh, Harper’s done for the day, right, Mr. Harper?”

“Well,” Harper said, “I got the big stuff done, sure, but I still have to--”

“But nothing urgent, right?”

“No, not really.”

Dylan hoped the expression he put on his face looked like a smile. “Well, then I don’t see a problem. You and Harper can leave and go back to Seefra One. Then tomorrow, we can meet at Harper’s bar and ….discuss your concerns in a civilized matter. And if …..some procedures have to be changed, we can do that then. Ok?”

Arms folded, Beka regarded Dylan through narrowed eyes. But she relented. A little. “All right. Andromeda, I rescind my previous order provided Harper leaves with me on the *Maru* NOW. Seamus? Meter’s running.” Andromeda’s hologram vanished as Beka left the room. Dylan crossed to the control panel and leaned on it, letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“Gee….” Harper said. “Thanks Dylan. I don’t think I ….I mean, a week---?”

“Don’t thank me yet, Mr. Harper. We still have to sort this out, and Beka’s not going to make it easy in that mood. I just bought some time. Now you’d better get going.”

Harper smiled. “Thanks, Dylan. ‘Bye Andromeda; see ya, Babe!” He blew the room a kiss, then turned and left.

“Upload completed,” Andromeda’s voice said.

Dylan straightened up as that feeling in his stomach came back. “’Upload’? Andromeda, what did you upload, and to where?”

A monitor lit up. Dylan read it. Then groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s never easy, and Andromeda, for the record, this isn’t helping.”


Dylan turned on his bar stool at the sound of the bar’s door opening and rested his chin on one hand as he watched, almost detached, as Beka marched into the room. For her part, Beka strode with purpose and outrage driving her, her glare, worthy of any Nietzschean Alpha, threatening death and/or dismemberment to anyone who looked at her funny in even the smallest way. Most of the patrons were smart enough to look away, but they had to struggle mightily to suppress their giggles. Understandable since Beka’s hair had poofed out into an iridescent multi-colored afro.

Two of the bar’s patrons couldn‘t resist the temptation to tease the ticked off freighter captain. “Oh, Beka,” Trance called from a table where she was sitting with Doyle, “I love your hair! Who did it for you?”

“Yes,” Doyle said, “is that the new style? I’ll have to have Harper program it into me.”

Beka spared them a growl but otherwise ignored them. Dylan almost looked bored as Beka stomped over to him and put one finger in his face, her jaw working as if she was about to say something.

“I tried to warn you,” Dylan said, “but you didn’t listen. And you’ll be pleased to know that Andromeda has given her word that the virus she loaded into your hair’s nanobots will delete itself ‘in due course.’”

Beka glared at Dylan for a few more seconds. Then she reached up, grabbed her pointing hand and forced it down to her side. Then she reached up and pushed her own jaw shut.

Then she straightened up and managed to compose herself. A LITTLE.

“Things are worse than I thought,” she said. “I’ll have to think about how to handle the intervention. In the mean time, you can tell Andromeda from me that she’s despicable.”

“Um, yes, Beka, I’ll remember to do that.”

Beka spun on her heel and headed for the door. Rhade was unlucky enough to enter just as she got to the entrance.

“Hi, Beka!” the big Nietzschean said. “How’re you doing? There’s something different about you. Is that a new scarf?”

Beka sent Rhade sprawling with one shove and left.

Rhade sat up. “Owwww! What a time to be on the wagon. I wouldn’t have felt this if I wasn’t sober. Ouch!”

Dylan turned back to the shot in front of him. “And they said I was crazy to reform the Commonwealth?” He downed his drink. “This proves it -- the three of me were the sanest ones on that tub. And days like this, I’m not so sure about the tub.”


What's in a Name?
by mike_joe769 (mike_joe769)
at June 1st, 2013 (10:13 pm)

TITLE: What’s in a Name?
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa
SUBJECT: Beka makes an impression, and there is agreement aboard the *Andredmea.*
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Over the weekend I discovered that Anzwers.org has folded up, taking with it two Andromeda fan fiction sites that not only had some of my stories (which I may have never saved on my computer -- my bad) as well as some from other authors I liked. So to show my appreciation for exisles.net’s continued existence, I thought I would add to this thread. It also responds to something Lisa Ryder said in a DVD interview, how Beka and Rommie never went someplace and had an adventured. A short adventure, but here it is. And there is a little silliness in here …I hope. Those of you who know what that means know what to put down.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Andromeda (and don’t know who does, if anybody) and am writing this without authorization and without getting paid.


Beka had stopped straining against her bonds and sat in the chair, waiting. The room was an austere concrete box, probably in a basement someplace. Her captors had tied her up and left the room.

It had been a bad day.

Dylan had characterized it as a simple mission: go to planet XYZ, get information from a contact on the Drago Kasov Prides’s Latest Dastardly Plan, and come home. By process of elimination, Rommie had been the only one free to go. Not that Beka had minded, but she and the *Andromeda’s* android avatar had never gone anywhere together by themselves. It had seemed strange, but not unpleasant. And they’d been relaxed enough about the mission that their biggest concern had been discontinuing their small talk on landing.

Of course, it hadn’t been easy, as Dylan often said. The mission had turned out to be a trap laid by the Drago-Kasov Pride, and she had lost track of Rommie (who may have been shot). There had been the ride in the floater and then being strapped to this chair with all manner of threats. And then waiting.

‘Hurry up and wait,’ Beka thought. But the building (house -- whatever) remained quiet. ‘Did they forget me?’ she wondered.

Almost in answer to her thought, the door to one side banged open and a Nietzschean wobbled in, laden down with cases and flexies. Bald and with a goatee, he didn’t wear a Drago Kasov insignia, but she knew that was who he was.

Baldie looked left and right and spied Beka. “Ah!” He sounded happy to see her. “There you are.” He dropped his cases. “Excuse me.”

Beka frowned. “Service with a smile,” she muttered.

Badie came back in with a folding chair and table. “I apologize if you’ve been kept waiting too long,” he said as he set up the chair and table. “This op was somewhat thrown together, and I was just flown in from Enge’s Redoubt. I’ve had to improvise some equipment, but I think I have enough for this interview. Oh, and where are my manners? I am Ivan Romanof, Drago-Kasov Pride.”

“Nice to meet ya,” Beka said. “I’d shake your hand, but I’m kinda tied up at the moment.”

Ivan laughed. “Yes, I’ll have to forego that pleasure.” He finally had the chair and table set up with his cases on it. He sat down and grabbed a flexie. “All right, let’s see here. Rebecca Valentine…do you prefer Becky?”

“My *friends* call me Beka. You can stick to anything but that..”

“Oh, but we will be getting to know each other, so Beka it is. Excuse me while I catch up on your case…” He read and his eyes bugged out and he whistled. “Wow! You have some impressive accomplishments to your name. Must have some good DNA. In fact….” He peered at her. “I don’t believe it. Just a minute.” He went to the door and pulled it open. “Victor! Get in here.”

Victor was muscular and blonde. “What?”

Ivan pointed at Beka. “This is Beka Valentine. Doesn’t she look like your half-sister Diedre?”

Victor scrutinized Beka. “You’re right. It’s uncanny. Although Diedre’s a red-head.”

“So am I,” Beka said. She closed her eyes and sent the mental commands to deactivate her hair’s nanobots. Her hair changed from blonde to its natural shade of red. “See?” Then she frowned. ‘Why did I do that?’ she wondered.

If Ivan and Victor noted the incongruity of a captive being chatty with her captors, they didn’t show it. Victor pointed at Beka and turned to Ivan. “That is uncanny, the same shade of red exactly. And Dee has been talking about hair nanos!”

“And look at what she’s credited with,” Ivan said, showing him her flexie.

Victor’s jaw dropped. “Whoa! She must have fantastic DNA.”

“I know, I was just saying--wasn’t I just saying?--yes, I was.”

“Incredible.” Victor turned to Beka. “I have to get back on guard duty. Nice to meet you. And I have suggestions for how to avoid biting your tongue off when it comes time.”

“I’ll remember to ask,” Beka said as Victor left the room.

“Well, Beka,” Ivan said as he returned to his chair, “I am impressed. And I‘m not going to qualify it by saying ‘for a kludge.’ You are impressive, period. And your name …. Rebecca Valnetine, Rebecca Valentine…You know, Beka, one of my wives is expecting, and we decided to not find out the gender of the child in advance. We’ve agreed on what to name a male, but we’re hung up on a female name. But Rebecca? Valentine? Valentina? I’d like to use them, with your permission.”

“Sure. Hope I get to see it.”

“Oh, I think I can arrange that. And my family has some strapping male slaves you could consider mating with. Your life…well, compared to what you’ve done, your life would be boring. But it would be comfortable and I would consider it an honor to arrange it for you. But I need something from you in return.”

“Aw, Ivan, and here I thought you were doing it out of the goodness of your heart.”

“No, Beka there must be a quid pro quo. So, tell me all about the *Andromeda,* Dylan Hunt, his plans for a Commonwealth, access codes, and whatever else you can think of, and I’ll see what I can do for you.”

Beka smiled sweetly. “Go make babies with your sister,” she said.

Ivan laughed. “That’s a good one.” He opened one of his cases. “So I guess we do this ‘the hard way.’ But I want you to know this in no way diminishes my respect for you. I completely understand. Under different circumstances, we would not be adversaries, but this is the hand the universe has dealt us. There is no need for anger or recrimination over it; this just is. So I suggest you--”

“Sit back and enjoy the ride?”

Ivan grimaced. “Ooh, you’re not one of those people who gets sexually aroused by pain, are you? Very disturbing; very hard to deal with it.” He shuddered. “I hate those cases! Please say you’re not.”

“Nah, you’ll be pleased to know I just scream.”

“Good. And I like your attitude. Laugh in the face of adversity; exist in the moment, no matter what is happening. That’s the key to living we--” Something on his belt beeped. He fished out his communicator and read the small screen. “What? Now?” He pulled open the door. “Victor? Do you know what this is about?”

Victor stuck his head in. “No idea. But you know who he’s married to.”

“Ugh.” Ivan turned to Beka. “Nepotism. Huge problem. But that’s what you get when bloodlines and treachery are valued more than competence, I suppose. I’ll be a few minutes.” He smiled. “Don’t go away.”

Beka smiled. “I’ll be here.”

The door closed and Beka’s smile vanished. “Judas Priest,” she muttered. “Ten trillion Nietzscheans and I’m going to be tortured by a chronically happy stand-up comedian. God, if you get me out of this, I will never complain about Tyr’s stoicism again.”

The door opened, but instead of Ivan or Victor, Rommie, the beautiful raven-haired ship’s avatar, walked in. She spotted Beka and smiled. “Ready to go?”

“More than you know. I suggest you get me out of this chair before they start following dead bodies back here.”

“I didn’t kill anyone,” Rommie said as she undid Beka’s bonds. “The ones I didn’t render unconscious I misdirected. Your interrogator was so personable I didn’t have the heart to kill him.”

Beak stood. “Well let’s get out of here before he comes back. Our luck, he’ll praise you and try to set you up with a Drago Kasov cruiser.”


“And there she is,” Dylan said from behind her.

Beka turned and saw Dylan and Tyr coming down the corridor behind her. She stopped in her tracks. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve created quite a stir in Nietzschean social circles,” Tyr said as he and Dylan faced Beka.

“The officer assigned to interrogate you,” Dylan said, “according to intel from our friends in the Sabra-Jaguar Pride, one of his wives just gave birth to twin girls. He named one Rebecca and the other Valentina. He named them after you.”

“He had to go the Council of Matriarch for a special dispensation to do that,” Tyr said, “which he received after making an impassioned plea.”

“And the council was so impressed,” Dylan added, “they also approve the name Rebecca Valentine for general use. So from now until the end of time, Nietzschean parents will name some of their girls Rebecca Valentine.”

“You have been immortalized,” Tyr said.

“You must have made quite an impression,” Dylan said.

Beka grinned, embarrassed and proud all at once. “I guess I did. But you have to admit I have my moments.”

Dylan and Tyr exchanged glances. Then they raised their arms and began bowing to Beka.

“Great,” Beka said, still smiling. “The first time you guys agree on anything and you have to be smartasses.”


maryrose3 [userpic]
Beka Day
by maryrose3 (maryrose3)
at February 14th, 2011 (12:06 am)

Happy Beka Day!!!!!

 I might be the only one who still comes here, seeing as how there hasn't been a post in ages.  But on the off chance anyone besides me is still around, I'm getting the greeting out.  Plus, this shows the community is still here, so maybe people will decide to become active again.  Doubtful, but hey, I tried,

Pixie Child [userpic]
Fic: 'Fall to Pieces' (Andromeda) ... PG-13 | Beka/Trance
by Pixie Child (fai_dust)
at November 27th, 2009 (05:19 am)

current mood: calm

Title: Fall to Pieces
Author: Pixie Child ( glitery_insane_pixie_child@yahoo.ca / http://pixie.submystic.com )
Fandom: Andromeda
Pairing: Beka/Trance
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Ouroboros timeline (2.12)
Summary: Into the unknown, just the two of them.
A/N: Kind of a prequel to Figure You Out ( http://dp.jaded-paradise.net/fic/andromeda/figureyouout.htm ) but can also be a stand alone.
Beta: Nu-uh. Sorry.
Feedback: is a must!
Disclaimer: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.

posted @ my journal

maryrose3 [userpic]
by maryrose3 (maryrose3)
at August 25th, 2007 (06:55 pm)

We had some new members join and I never welcomed them. So welcome. Glad to have you here.

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